That's actually not me. That's my bff from high school in her wilder days. She has a family and stuff now but I'm just sayin'...what a whore. ;-)

So tonight's Top Ten is going to be oh-so-freakin'-lame (no comments from the peanut gallery, thank you very much!). I got stuck over in terminal D this afternoon. Which okay, shouldn't I be happy to give of my time where ever they choose to put me? But don't they understand there is NO N-O material in Terminal D? I mean I seriously contemplated putting the non-english speaking kid riding the moving sidewalk and just staring at the lady that kept asking "Where is your Mommy? Where is your Mommy?" like a million times. Now that I wrote it...it should have made top ten cause it was freakin' hilarious. Just a kid out having a good time...nevermind he was like four.

So onward we march with our lameass top ten from tonight. Oh, and props to me for getting this shit posted tonight, right? YAY, Chellie!!!

10. Shhh...did you hear that? Crickets. The sound of the activity in the Term D location. I literally had to keep my eyelids open with flamin' hot cheetos. Literally.

9. So the thing about Term D, other than no one visits is that there is no TV. Let me clarify. There is a TV but no cable or dish or rabbit ears - and let me just say if I could sneak that shit through security on my term d days, have no doubt I would. Just a flat panel tv with a dvd. And about 8000 movies circa 1983. Seriously, Rudy was on when I came it. I swapped it out for Blue Collar Comedy Tour and called my Kentucky relatives so we could bond.

8. Having no 'tv' also means no Cowboys on Sunday 3pm games which means Chellie stopping people in the hall begging, pleading for someone to go run across the hall and give me an update. All anybody knew was that some dude named Brett Favre threw a bunch of touchdowns. This is DALLAS. Dallas. Are we clear? Geez!

7. I managed NOT to eat everything at term d. I settled for water, coffee (to keep me from falling asleep and drooling), RAISINS and Beef Jerky. That's it. Okay, well I did eat a butterfinger - but it was the snack size so it doesn't count.

6. So back in Term B, it was just as slow. Well, nothing could ever be that slow but it was pretty slow for the main center. New guy Mr. A starts banging around. Turns out he's decided to d-ice the deep freezer. Snow like ice flying everywhere. It was like a winter wonderland and he said he wanted to build a snow fort. I thought that might be fun until i stuck my hand in the ice and a finger fell off.

5. Back to Term D for a second. Nice travelin' soldier (airman, he explained - to which I replied 'Joan, Jane, whatever'), we'll call him Mr. Going to London And Then On To My Final Dest, well he had been hanging out all day. For some odd reason he preferred the quite solitude of D to B. Freak. I kid! I kid! Anyway...he went to get a "beverage" I was informed when I arrived at D to relieve the bleary eyed 2nd shifter. He returns beverageless and I point it out. He confesses to having three beers (he's still on leave for several more days so no rule breaking going on). I was like, "Ah, man, beer sounds good". He perks up. "You wanna go have one?" I wish. I explained that although it was a volunteer position I was pretty sure I could still get fired. Plus he was a stranger and strangers should not have to witness my drunken binges.

4. When I arrived the blaring music was an instrumental of "Mercy, Mercy Me". I L-O-V-E Marvin. I can belt out every last one of his hits. True fan, right? So I stop sit on the wall and sing along. Much to the dismay of the poor people innocently waiting for their bus to pick them up.

3. Airport Police stopped in to B to point out the sunset. It was really beautiful. And it was nice for once because it wasn't blazing hot thus it wasn't heating the center up which was the case ALL SUMMER. It was kinda hanging out to be seen through the open doors of a hanger across the whatever they call the thing where the planes drive.

2. Conversation with dude at the snack bar:

Dude: Are you cold
Chellie: (convulsing) What gave it away? The shivering or the icicles hanging from my fingertips?

After 4 months of being hot I shouldn't complain but damn it was cold in both centers today.

1. Ok. So those boys at checkpoint are starting to cave in from the pressure of my sunny personality. I live for antics and drama and those cats are so stoic most of the time it calls out to my playful nature. Today I forgot (again) to remove my belt and send it through the superman vision machine. The alarm sounds. Mr. Stoic (previously mentioned as the one that I give milk to) says, "Oh no! Now you're in trouble!!" Okay, so he was smiling but I did have a moment of panic. Like I almost peed my pants. But then the guy I had previously thrown my ring at (complete accident) laughs and says "It's her belt! She always forgets her belt!"

How much do they heart me? Probably the only nice person they see all day. They live for Sundays, I bet. I've even got them saying good night to me when I leave. I'm soooo cool.

So that's it...as you can tell it was a stretch but I can always find something to sing about. Oh, mercy mercy me...

Saving the world one cover song at a sing...