Urban Dictionary says I should say, "Punch em in 'da face" but I thought I had made this particularly catchy catch phrase up myself and I don't feel like putting forth the effort to change my enunciation. Check out the big brain on Brad, right?

So, I don't know how I started saying this or why. Probably during one of my late night escapdes with GSP when I'm yelling at the TV asking for that so hot Superman punch he does. Cause let's face it, he looks so hot flying through the air and wouldn't it be really funny if they gave Joe Rogan one of those things like they gave John Madden and Joe could scribble things across the screen during fights. Like "POW!" or "BAM!". Well, maybe only to me.

So, what were we talking about?

Oh, yeah. PUNCH 'EM IN THE FACE!!!

Did you yell that in your head when you read it? No? Try it again. I'll wait.

See? Didn't that feel good? Now, yell it out. Or whisper it softly. And think about someone that pisses you off or annoys you beyond anything. You can add different emphasis on different parts. Say it with menace or say it with a smile. But damn. Doesn't it feel good?

You don't ever have to cause anyone any kind of bodily harm. Just think it or sing it and you feel better. I don't think there is anyone left at work I haven't punched in the face in my mind. And it makes me a better person. I just mentally punch em and move on with my life.

Fuck breathing. I don't know what I was thinking buying into that babble of zen calmness. It didn't work. I'd find myself just breathing and breathing and breathing and not feeling one single iota better. But when I mentally punch someone in the face? I feel fan-fucking-tabulous.

I just might submit this to Google for my idea that will change the world. Really.

Seriously.

Punch 'Em in the Face!!!