This is real off topic but Robin Williams is on my tv accepting some award wearing a dark purple velvet suit. I can't take my eyes off . It looks like my senior prom dress, only bigger and split down the middle. Makes me regret going for the full frontal coverage look back in the day.

Okay, so that picture would totally be me. Excuse me can I have a ride? Oh my God! Is that a tank? No way. Can I drive?

Yeah, I can be that ignorant. And I'm praying that French question up there says something about speaking, and not other unmentionables.

On with the countdown:

10. I have never seen so many people in D. I walked in, gasped in shock, walked out to make sure I was in the right place. (Yeah? So what if that has happened before? Side Note: So we are clear, I have twice now walked into a Barber Shop instead of the Starbucks next door. I'm practically on a first name basis with the guy closest to the door.) Anyway, it was crowded and I had to stand in the hall, for my own peace of mind.

9. So this cat just in from Kuwait is enjoying the fresh air in the entry with me when some short guy in jeans walks by and says something about the cat's sunglasses. I'm only half aware of what is going on because that's just how I roll. I miss all the good stuff. Next thing I know, shorty is all up in cat's face about being and officer and uniforms and orders.

8. The guy leaves after some 'yes sirs' and Cat starts cursing and his face is all red and people inside are staring. Chatty Kathy turned into Kathy Griffin as I tried to difuse the situation by using my keen sense of humor. I actually felt bad for Cat because, you know, he just came home from war. And the guy was wearing jeans. But I don't know anything at all about military protocol...so I just said, "So, I guess officers are like cops? Always on?"

7. I know I've metioned Hottest Guy Ever before but I was wrong. Because I saw him Sunday. If I wasn't already in love, I would have fallen instantly in love. And you know what would have sealed the deal if I wasn't already in a loving and commited relationship? He ordered with precision. No hesitation, just came right up and told me how it was. I did a happy dance and awarded him the prestigious "Best Orderer of the Day" award. He blushed and every female heart in the room broke a little.

6. Conversation between me and a soldier sitting at the bar, eating spaghetti.

Spaghetti: It's crowded in here today.
Chellie: (Sigh) I know, it's been crazy. We're almost out of food.
Spaghetti: (Eyes the bar and gives me the crazy look) This looks like a great selection to me!
Chellie: (Narrows eyes) Really?
Spaghetti: (Nods while shoveling noodles in his mouth)
Chellie: (Leans over the bar, all conspiracy like with a gleam of triumph in her eyes) Then why are you eating spaghetti?

So, he might have choked but he was fine in the end.

5. I don’t think this made the list last week but VR and I had team effort when we had to wake someone up. We have this sleep room and it’s dark and is like the coffee maker fear all over again. I bit the bullet and did the deed. Walked right up in there and shouted out the guy’s name. Later I realized I could have been killed (thanks MFM for pointing that out). This week, same thing came up and I mentioned that perhaps we shouldn’t have snuck up on our friend last week. Eyes wide, she agrees and concedes my point. We unite our front and enter the room. We exchange glances and I nod (silently counting, one – two – three...

“SMITH!” (not really his name because honestly I can’t remember it at all).

Folks, he jumped about 6 feet into the air and I ran screaming from the room.

4. The Incident. (if that leaves you with a, “huh?”…read the previous post)

3. I met my first medic. Well, I might have met one before but that was when I was in love with Marcus so they might have paled in comparison. He told me of some of his adventures (except I don’t think he would refer to them as such) in Afghanistan and we had a long discussion of the plight (my dramatic word choice of the day..SHUT IT. I’m in the middle of reading Pride and Prejudice for the millionth time) of soldiers deployed to Afghanistan. I told him I had become biased with by care packages because I noticed the folks in Iraq seemed to ask for video games, candy, and those sorts of things while my guys (MFM included) in Afghanistan ask for things like toothpaste. Not that they aren't all deserving, because they deserve everything they ask for, but toothpaste requests break my heart.

It was a very interesting conversation and he made sure I didn’t pass out when we were in the midst of THE INCIDENT.

2. LOTS of Airmen in and out on Sunday. I stumble across one stretched out in the lounge chair, napping. I am walking toward him, looking at him, debating whether I should wake him and tell him about the sleep room. Because of the crowd, someone had moved one of the table chairs up against the wall. Did I mention I was looking at the sleeping dude? Yeah, you got it. Walked into the chair, tripped, hit the wall, you know the drill. Woke him up, or maybe he was just resting his eyes. I didn’t even try to play it off. I was caught. I’m glad he thought it was funny.

1. Conversation between me and Mr. Medic directly after THE INCIDENT:

Chellie: (looking at the mess, trying not to cry)
Medic: (looking at the trash can, smirking) You’re gonna wanna change that bag out.
Chellie: (lip trembles) Yeah.
Medic: It smells. Bad.
Chellie: I have a sinus infection.
Medic: Lucky.

Clearly he is not going to be any help, and I would never ask any of the visitors to assist me with anything. I wrap plastic bags around my hands and get down to bagging up the barf bag. He watches the whole operation with a HUGE grin.

Chellie: Smiling is not helping.
Medic: Did you want help?
Chellie: (rolls eyes, would never ask) I’m just saying, this is nasty.
Medic: Good thing you didn’t want help, ‘cause, you know, I’m on LEAVE.

So. Longest Top Ten ever. Seems like it took days to write. Actually, Sunday was very stressful for me and stress leads to Drama and Drama leads to the need to vent.

I feel much better now. There are about a bazillion other things that happened that were noteworthy but I’m tired and Elizabeth has just told Mr. Darcy he is the last man she could ever be prevailed upon to marry. Sigh.

There we go, saving the world one freaked out sleeping soldier at a time. (For the record, I feel real bad about that)