I know it's bad...but still. I'm one of those girls that doesn't enjoy the sun. Well, i love it actually but I'm a HUGE fan of the sunscreen. I went on a trip to the Caribbean with some girlfriends. Beach, sun and surf...and SPF 45. Not kidding. I came back with a glorious tan and the others? Huge chunks of skin missing by the 4th day of the trip because no usey on the SPFy. They were miserable and blistered, literally laying on the beach with towels wrapped around their legs, while I was doing the bump and grind with an Irish yacht captain and his first mate (pretty sure they were gay) on the dance floor. God he couldn't dance...i have a picture of it somewhere that I will see if I can find and post.

I'm way off track but now I have to tell this story. We met the dynamic gay duo at Senor Frogs in Nassau. Along with a boat load of sailors from Holland that included the cutest damn 21 year old on the planet. Sigh, that might have worked out better for me if drunk bitch hadn't looked him in the eye and said, "So, do you guys have fuck buddies in Holland?"

Yeah. She said that. To a group of randy sailors. Thankfully, they didn't speak real good English. And probably wasn't completely her fault - he was beautiful. And she was working her way through the entire shot list on Senor Frog's wall.

Hans, the really well educated civilian traveling with the sailors (not that sailors aren't educated but by 'well educated' I mean he spoke beautifully accented English), looks at me, and it was a hard look.

Me! Like I'd said it.

My mouth is hanging open. I shake my head in denial. Hot 21 year old looks terribly troubled and is speaking to Hans in rapid fire Dutch, or whatever it is they speak. Hans is shaking his head in disgust and still eyeing me. LIKE I'D SAID IT! Like I'd let him down or something. And probably I might have let him down because I didn't clamp my hand over her mouth but who knew? And Hans and I had bonded when he had to map out Europe using his hands and a catchy little jingle for the stupid American because she only knew where England was...Holland? Is that in Asia?

I tell drunk that probably she shouldn't have said that. That probably it was inappropriate for her to ask that of someone she'd met five seconds ago. That probably it shouldn't be discussed in public at all. And probably she should back off because I saw him first - KIDDING!! She looks confused by my bitchery.

I finally ask Hans to speak in English. He says he had to explain to hot 21 year old what a 'fuck buddy' was...OMG, I died a little on the inside. He was red, I was red, Drunk was oblivious and drinking and hot 21 year old is looking at both of us like, 'Yeah we have 'em, let's go'. I give hottie a discouraging look and ask what he thought it meant before he asked Hans to explain. He frowns, looking a little uncertain as to whether he should explain but shrugs and says in his equally beautiful accent, "A po-lit-ta-cul par-tee". Chellie makes a mental note to take a sabbatical to Holland, for research purposes of course.



And that, my friends, it the epitome of Chellie digression. Because I started out with Sun Screen, hit on the Irish captain and eventually told the story of the Dutch, when all I really meant to tell you about was my sunburned nose because today I forgot sunscreen.

But I'm glad I told it because until right now I had forgotten about that night. Girl drama aside, it was one of the best weeks of my life. That night with the sailors particularly entertaining. Hottie basically told me for the most part they thought Americans were idiots. I'm not inclined to disagree because of what drunk said but also because he and Hans had just finished telling me how many languages they spoke and I was still reeling from how quickly hottie converted meters to feet when I asked how tall he was (conversion a result of the wtf? look I gave him).

For the record: My good girl instincts kicked in and I did manage to get Drunk back to the condo fuck buddy-less, much to the disappointment of 17 sailors (and possibly the dynamic gay duo).

God, I'm a good friend.