Yeah, so it's been a while. I have been working at the USO but it's been pretty busy and when it's pretty busy you don't have a lot of time to chat...or make a fool of yourself.

I met a really interesting older gentleman in Terminal D this past weekend. I wanted to adopt him as my grandpa but he said didn't want to raise another teenager. I hearted him from hello. We agreed to just be friends. He had amazing stories and he was such a world traveler. He and his daughter had just returned from Hungary and some other country I can't pronounce. Did I mention he was on his way to Puerto Vallarta where he has a time share? He was so freaking cool. Talking to him, you kinda got lost in the moment and forget that he was a fragile old man. His blue eyes twinkled with light while he leaned against the door frame waiting for the wheelchair to escort him to his gate (he said he could have made it...but I wasn't taking any chances!). He really is an inspiration and I hope that I have enjoyed my life as much as he has enjoyed living his when my time comes.

I'll be working a later shift this week to help out with shortages so hopefully it won't be completely lame and I'll find a nice someone to entertain me.

Shame on the jackasses that killed Marcus Luttrel's dog. Stupid punks. But even more than the dog was this quote, "I don't sleep at night." See? Tears in my eyes just from hearing his voice in my head. Oh. My. God. Will the man ever stop breaking my heart?

And pray for the safe journey home for my beloved "My Favorite Marine", aka "MFM". He and his team are hopefully beginning the trip soon. I can't wait to watch our relationship fall apart!! I love you guys!!! Come home safely!!!



And because he's going to laugh his ass off and complain about what a wuss I am...HERE:



Still saving the world, one more tear for Marcus at a time...

Free Signature Generator



Glitter Text Generator



How cool am I??

10. I think I have a thing for dudes with bushy eyebrows. Seriously. I'm watching the Devil Wears Prada and I remember how much I love Vince, aka Adrian Grenier, and Cody Canada and Rob Pattinson. Which makes me wonder if my aversion to hairy arms and chest hair makes any sense at all.

9. The lady coming back from Fort Hood heading to Arkansas was HILARIOUS! She reminded me so much of the Southern Belles I met in the Bahama's who had taken the trip so the one girl could cheat on her cheating husband. Except without the cheating on her husband part.

8. I meet a lot of people that have important stuff to say like 'Blah Blah Blah' and I'm nodding my head and thinking about the shoe sale at Dillard's. So this one guy, who works for private contracting firm and is heading back to Iraq (or China, I wasn't paying attention) and he's telling us all about this and that. I'm doing the normal nod and squeeze the eyebrow together thing - okay, look, it's not that I don't care it's just that I don't understand it and it's kinda my thing not to really learn about it because it loses the humor value and I'm all about clownin' around - when I happen to look up and see a guy sitting down the bar giving me the look. Not that look...but the one that says, "You are SO BUSTED! I know that you know that I know that I know you don't know what the hell he's talking about!" And maybe I blushed a little but really I was trying pretty hard not to laugh at being caught.

7. Mr. Number 8 starts calling out Mr. Blah Blah Blah about having to wait so long for a c One something for a ride back to never never land. I think he did this for my benefit because instead of thanking me when he got up to leave he came over, leaned across the bar and said, "You're Welcome." And maybe I fell in love...a little.

6. So all these young AF dudes were coming in to head to Sheppard and their flight had been cancelled. That's not funny, but what is funny is the cat who sat down and called his mom or someone and started talking about how prepared he was for this kind of an event to occur and the others were having to wait up to two hours for their luggage...and he had his right there with him because he'd packed his backpack. I seriously had to resist the urge to jump over the bar and put it on just to see how heavy it was and see if I could fall over while singing "Backpack, Backpack!".

5. VK: Chellie, have you read the DFW Police Report?
Me: The one about the vomit? Yeah. It was great.

I don't know who writes that report for the newspaper but he/she needs a prize. The shiz is hilarious.

4. Cutest little boy ever licking his cheeseburger whenever his daddy would turn away. He was also three and he was going on two more flights and they had left their Mama at home in Texas (Because dallas is not in Texas, duh.)

3. Oh, yeah...Ice cream was a HUGE deal on our shift. EVERYONE was asking for it. And it wasn't just the tasty Big Bopper that was going, going, gone. It was a free for all...one dude even took his favorite and ate it while his cheeseburger was heating up. He was the coolest guy ever.

2. I went over to term D (SURPRISE!!) and hung out for an hour. When VJ came to relieve me, dude walks in and I can't remember what happened but I realized the pen for the sign in log wasn't working.

Chellie: Oh! Let me get you another pen.
Awesome Soldier: Cool.
Chellie: (Returns with pen, proceeds to try to write the date on the new sheet with the lid still on the new pen)
AS: (Chuckles)
Chellie: (Gives AS the sideways glance) Did you just laugh?
AS: Well it was more of a chuckle but yeah.
Chellie: Grrrr...
AS: What? It was funny.

This is why I am here, y'all. Amusement, however unintentional it may be.

1. Okay, so here's where I wish I knew how to write a really cool Aussie accent because this totally cool dude from Australia was in the house this weekend. He asked me for a sausage and egg burrito and I didn't understand him at first because I'm always caught off guard and lose my concentration real easy. Gator called me a space cadet today. Sadly, I wasn't offended. See what I mean? You've already forgotten about the Super Cool Aussie. I asked him to sit down at the bar and read the paper to me.

So...there you go. I have some funny stuff from the week before but I didn't have time to post it...I've been working on this one for 2 days...my life sucks. Not really but I don't have a lot of time for games and blogging and it's pissing me off. AND I'm totally freaking out about meeting with an editor for a whole EIGHT minutes on Saturday.

I'm sooo thinking this is going to lead to a repeat of THE INCIDENT except with me in the leading role.

Sigh.

Saving the world, one g'day mate at a time.

This is going to be a little immature post - I know, shocking, right? - so there's your warning.

Bella? Bella who? She was in what? With Edward? No! I don't remember her. Yeah, pretty much I remember Edward...Edward...oh, and Edward...then there was that scene with Edward and Emmett...oh, wait! No, no...that was Alice. Yeah, yeah. No, sorry mostly it's still just EDWARD.

Shut your pie hole. Girls don't give a flying flip who plays Bella. It could be that chicken that produced Entourage with Marky Mark and no one would notice. Hell, it could be Pedro and we'd all just sigh and wait for Edward to show up.

I'm just saying...Edward = Irreplaceable. Bella = Not so much.

That's all I got...I'm going back to my WIP so I have something positive to tell Gator for a change...

Say hello to your mother for me, all right?

I'm going to try to pound this top ten out before I have to start thinking about work again. I'm so preoccupied with work that I can tell you right now this post is going to be lamer than lame. Not that they aren't all lame, just that this will be lamer...than usual.

I did work last weekend, or maybe it was the weekend before but I can't remember when it was so there's no way I'm going to try to remember what crazy antic I became involved in...

10. Back in Term D. It's like their new favorite place to send me. Chellie's working? Send her to D. It's okay though. I'm starting to dig it over there...

9. It was like 34 degrees in the USO, Term D today. Seriously. One sweetheart let me wear his jacket while we watched Ocean's Eleven. I looked like an Eskimo.

8. I tried on another backpack today. I can't help it. It's like I see them and I have to try them on. He was better prepared than my previous AF hunk was. He stood behind me the whole time and I'm pretty sure he never really let go. My hero.

7. When I came on shift, the 2nd shift V was putting in a new movie. It was Ocean's Eleven. Clooney, Pitt AND Damon...there are so many reasons why I love this movie.

6. Term D is right next to Popeye's chicken. Endless hours of torture smelling that stuff cook. I couldn't take it anymore. When I closed down the shop I went next door and ordered. I asked the clerk if they had anything 'grilled'. I'm don't think she knew what the word meant.

5. Super sweet lent-me-his-jacket and didn't-let-me-fall-over was there eating so he came over and invited me to dine with him. He reminded me so much of the guy from American Pie (Jason Biggs)...finally I had to just tell him. But I built him up with compliments so he didn't take it as hard as some may have. He denied every having danced in front of a web cam in his underwear...but added there was always a first time for everything. Like this one time, at band camp...

4. Sometimes I just want to put my head down on the bar and sleep. Or curl up in one of those reclining chairs and sleep. I'm not sure why this made the top ten but there you go.

3. Conversation between me and three Marine machines.

Two are packing up and one is off doing whatever Marine's do when the disappear.

Chellie: Hey, can I get you some water to take with you?
Two Dudes: Oh, yeah, that would be great.
Chellie: (watches and waits for the third dude to come back) You want some water?
Third Dude: (Gives me the 'you talking to me?' looks) Ummm. Yeah, sure that would be great.
Chellie: (walks away to do their bidding)
Third Dude: Why did she only ask me for water.
Chellie: (cringes because she knew this was going to be an issue)
Two Dudes: She's just trying to take care of us. We're all set, guess she felt sorry for you. Snicker. Skicker. Har. Har.
Chellie: I asked them if they wanted some too! (equivalent of I carried a watermelon)

Probably that didn't come across the same as it happened but it was an AWKWARD moment. In fact, it wins AWKWARD MOMENT OF THE NIGHT. It's a new award I just started. Right now.

2. Super sweet old guy with one of those old time looking Marine tatoos on his arm. He was my BFF of the night in Term D then over in Term B. When he came right up to me and started shooting the breeze, I think he might have hurt the feelings of a couple of the other V's but let's face it. Babies and Old People just like me.

1. I got all excited when this dude came in with Jackson Hole's last name. I was like, "Jack" and he was all, "Who?". I'm kidding. He didn't really have Jack's last name, I just wanted to give Jackson a shoutout. But he was super funny and spent about 30 minutes with me explaining the patches on the wall. I never tire of this lesson...because I never grasp any of it. I began to doubt his knowledge when he pointed to a badge and said "Air Force". I look at the badge and it says, "New Zealand". I point this out and he covers his FUBAR by pointing out the rainbow patch and why guys don't wear the color version of it. This was when he cursed for the first time and I instantly knew we'd be great friends for the remainder of his visit.

MFM comes home in April, maybe early May. He's a little anxious that our friendship is going to fall apart. I assured him this was going to be the case because things always change when both people are on American Soil. He replies that he's pretty sure he'll be deployed again and that I should start stockpiling supplies now to send him, like candy hearts and snickers. He specifially asked that I not send any more AXE. I don't understand. He said to pitch a tent, pack a bunch of people inside and spray the entire can. I begin to see his reasoning. But he's getting a case of the stuff just for complaining. I call the shots in this care package relationship. So there. No more corn for you!!!

Looks like Big Tabacco is shut down, which sucks because he's pretty much the only milblog I read since Fobbit came home. Well, except Jake. But I think we can all agree we have ulterior motives for reading his blog. McHotty Hot Hot.

Well, there I go...saving the world...one bottle of water at a time....

I paid $1.89 for a gallon of milk tonight. Guess it suddenly got cheaper to milk the cow. Again I'm not complaining because the processing of the milk is a real good thing.

BTW, the milk that was delivered to our little backwood country house looked just like that pic up there. I miss those days of biscuits and sausage gravy. Of Daddy pulling me around on the riding mower in my wagon. Except that shit came to an abrupt end when I crawled out one day, half asleep and used the steaming hot muffler thingy as a handle. Yeah. That hurt pretty bad. I'm pretty sure I blamed my step mother. She got blamed for everything. Especially that one time she came home from the hospital with a whiny little boy instead of the princess girl I had asked for. She never did like me. Plus she still to this day calls me by my first name. Grrrrr....LOL

In other news, my mother sent me about 14 inappropriate emails today. What is it with old people and the mass mailing of things they think are funny? I can't get a birthday card from her in the right month but I can get blasted by emails about Michael Jordan and Eddie Murphy.

I'm pretty sure I shocked Gator today with two stories. The one about how it didn't fit had her cracking up and my visit to see a friend in jail (like 16 years ago) would have made her choke if she'd been drinking. Too bad...I would have peed my pants watching her spew ice tea and fajitas out her nose.

Turns out even famous people beat each other up.

Tom, Travis (sigh) and Mark are officially back together. I can't wait. From the pic I saw from the Grammy's, I'm pretty sure Tom is going to throw down at some point. I love those guys.

I'm in L-O-V-E with Josh Gracin's cover of 'Telluride', one of the greatest Tim songs ever. Hot marine singing about snow falling down = HOT.

Taylor Swift finally has a video for 'White Knight'. Eh. The dude in the video could have been hotter, but she looked good and the song is my 2nd fav from the album.

Juno made me cry. I think I was having a depression this weekend from the GSP Scandal so that might have impacted my ability to be objective. But my God. When Jen Garner does that kneeling down and talking to the belly thing - I just lost it.

I posted on my Spankster blog about reading my old diary and how crazy over-the-top dramatic I was back in the day. Because I'm so not dramatic these days...riiiight. That's some good reading right there folks.

Gator and I decided it would be a great idea to adopt the fire station down the street from work. Good times ahead there. Maybe I'll do a top ten from each of those visits.

Okay, well I'm all posted out. I'm not working at the USO this weekend because I'm working at that other place that pays my salary...sigh.

Really? The Stimulus Package? I get to maybe have a tax break? The one that might equal to one months mortgage payment over a period of twelve months? Really? That will help me and mine soooo much.

I'm just saying, I'd rather have another rebate check so I can buy more Asian electronics to help stimulate their economy. Why? Because fat, lazy Americans making 40K on that assembly line sticking stickers make crap ass products. I'm not unpatriotic. I love my country, but I can see most of her faults. Unions being number one on my list, currently. I try to only buy American cars but that's usually where I have to draw the line. I'd be more careful about buying American products if I knew they'd work! Lord, my daddy is rolling over in his grave.

All I'm saying is, there better be some money in there for Vet Affairs and Small Business Owners. Two things that are very near and dear to my heart.

Americans did this to themselves. We had money, so we went out and spent it on things we shouldn't have. People are idiots. Spend, spend, spend. Oh, wait, you mean I can't really afford that 300k house on 60k a year? But that one guy said...yeah and when you signed the papers and walked out, they toasted your stupidity with a bottle of Cristal. Then threw that mortgage out the window, into the market and we all pay the price. Nice work. Hope you enjoy getting bailed out while folks like me, who don't enjoy drowning in debt, get nothing. Well, unless I'm 60 days behind...then they are willing to negotiate.

And car companies? Oh, don't get me started with the sticking of the stickers. That will just send me right over the edge. Fire the UNION. Stop selling a 12k car for 21k, then we can talk about bailing your sorry butts out.

And the airline industry. PLEASE. Fire the UNION.

And the bonuses are just happy days for me. How can we sit back and grit our teeth when they get their million dollar bonuses? We should've never expected anything less. They've been doing it for years, why stop now.

This should be a huge wake up call for all of us. But have we learned anything? Heck no. As soon as gas prices dropped, idiots went out and started buying trucks and SUV's again. Because surely, gas won't go up again. Can't be. Idiots. When the housing market recovers, we'll go out and buy another house we can't afford. My daddy, God rest his soul, taught me from the cradle about keeping up with the Joneses. And, God help me, I like nice stuff as much as everyone else. Especially really expensive shoes - but you know what? I wait until they come out on sale for 75% off and wear them to hell and back.

Did I mention Milk pisses me off? More expensive than gas at one point, might still be. I refuse to look at the price when I pick up a gallon. If I didn't appreciate the homogenizing process so much, I'd buy a cow and milk her for fun. But that's just gross. This comes from growing up in Kentucky where we actually had real, nasty, non-processed milk delivered to our house. In fact, I'm calling my brother right now to see if he remembers the taste of the nasty shit.

See, I'm already off topic. Basically, I hate politics and if I cared more about changing the country, I'd vote. But I can't vote because I hate them all. All crooks trying to keep a paycheck (*snicker* aren't we all?). I can't save my soul by endorsing theirs. Give me some fresh new faces, someone under the age of forty. Someone struggling to make ends meet that might honestly be looking out for the good of my community, then yeah, maybe I could vote. But only for one term, because as soon as he or she gets involved in the bedlam...they'd be crooked too.

And as far as me running for office? I like my happy pills too much. I'm pretty sure they wouldn't want someone high on life, because of a chemical alteration, running anything that resembles a country.

Wow, so I feel better. I'm hoping for that change we've been promised. But it's going to take more than four or eight years to undo what has been sixteen years in the making. That's a lot of time for all of us to just get stupider.

Shout out to Jack. He's been MIA in this blog for a couple of posts, not to mention the face of the earth...Superman? Where are you? One day he'll cave, 'cause I'm not texting him first....

Staying high and mighty on her tiny soapbox...that's me.