So here's a list of things that you probably need to know. Riiiiight. Just nod your head and smile.

10. I SOOOO won the freaking Can't Wang Wit It Dance Off. White girls can clap if they want to - I don't care what they say.

9. I took 'Gator to the airport with me to drop off my badge app (grrrr...did I already mention this?). Oh, she worked that walk of shame, baby. Worked. It.

8. Had to seek comfort from a lovely uniformed national guardsmen who was unfortunate enough to ask me what was wrong as I came off the escalator sobbing. This is due to the young child of a soldier sobbing, "Daddy! Daddy!". Heart. Wrench. Ing.

7. I've told three people in the last two weeks about how comforting the smell of a soldier is. Clearly, I am a freak. But it is a recognizable smell and near and dear to my heart. My letter from MFM even had the 'smell' so I'm not making this shit up.

6. I'm soooo pissed about Sean Avery. How dare he steal lines from Grease and not give credit where credit was due. It's an atrocity. He didn't even come close to delivering it like Danny. He should have been suspended. And fined. He should have just used the 'C' word and been done with it. Sloppy Seconds. What era are we in?

5. I have perfected the Buffalo Wild Wings Sauce. I AM A GENIUS! (did I spell that right?) The only problem is now I'm totally sick of hot wings...

4. I made peanut butter balls, because you know I'm Susie Homemaker and Betty Fucking Crocker, but I've taken to calling them Acorns because I had a little issue with the melting of the chocolate, the rolling of the balls and the nasty mess it leaves on my hands - which I'm totally OCD about. I have 500 if anyone wants me to send them some...MFM passed. Jerk.

3. Conversation between me and 11 year old nephew:

Me: What brand of clothes do you wear?
NM: It doesn't really matter as long as it doesn't come from WAL-MART.
Me: You little SNOB.
NM: I'm kidding. lol.
Me: Snob. It's a good thing I went to Target.

At which point he choked on his 'lol'. I love WAL-MART. PH and I buy walls there all the time.

2. I'm still in love with R. Patz, or Robbie, or OMG Can you just give me that look all day. Yeah. That one.

1. How funny would it have been if the 'altercation' between T.O and J Whitten was really because one of them was offended by a yo' mama joke? Seriosuly. Can we all be adults here and not throw fits because Mole (that would be Romo) has a hard on for J.W.? Besides J.W. is hot...I'd throw all my balls to him too.

My money is on the Home Grown Grain Fed Country Boy. Whoo doggie.