Sorry, that's all I had at the office today...and now I'm home and too lazy to go track down some more eye candy.

So, the thing about when the USO is busy is I don't get a lot of time to chit-chat and generally entertain the ladies and gents of our armed services. The whole world was disappointed by this development.

However, there may have been one brief moment of death defying amusement when I sailed into the storage room - forgetting that VA (only boy on our shift) had started to mop the floor. Yeah. Did I mention I decided to wear heels last night? yeah. BAM!

Right leg goes flying one way, the left swoops out in the other - I grab onto the sink in a panic trying to save myself (because we took up the mats and the floor debris was questionable) and my new jeans. Did I give one stinking thought to my safety? Hell no! It was all about pride! I'm clinging to the stainless steel industrial sink, legs in a damn near perfect Chinese spilt (thank you, 8 years of Ballet), head going back and forth, eyes bulging, mind racing for some excuse to play it off all this trying to determine if someone happened to see me.

Oh. The. Horror.

I was safe although VA did look at me in question when he walked in but by this point I at least had my legs back together. I'm pretty sure I've broken something important but I'll take that any day over someone witnessing my humiliation.

On with the C-O-U-N-T-D-O-W-N

10. Guess who rocked the front desk? DJ Chellie Snazz was in da' house!

9. Two of my favorite soldiers ever were back in the club tonight. I recognized the one dude and when he finally pushed his way through the crowd I said welcome back...he says 'you remember me? Nobody remembers me.' He hitches his thumb toward his partner and says, 'they always remember him'. This reminded me of a time at a bar with my Utah friend. She is, um, blessed in the boobage area and I hated going out with her because guess who got more attention? Anyway...we were watching a concert and hanging out with the peeps at the table next to ours...when the show was over the single guy in the bunch asks me for my phone number. My mouth drops open and I say, "Me? Are you sure you don't want me to give you Utah's?" He fell over laughing at my reaction and I had to explain about the boob thing (beer made that easy)...we dated for almost a year (turns out he liked skinny chicks). TAKE THAT BOOBIE HEAD.

ANYWAY - That was what dude number one must have felt like last night because I said something to him first.

Can I just stop there? hehehe

8. So right before those two came in, another two of the frequent flyer's came in...it was busy and I didn't say anything. After I made a big deal ooohing and aaaahing over the previous two I see the tall one from this other duo giving me the evil eye. But in a totally nice way.

7. And right before they left I stopped them and made sure to tell the tall one I'd see them the next time they come through

TO: So. You do remember?
Chellie: Of course. It was just busy and I couldn't say anything.
TO: Whatever.

I'm kidding. He didn't say that. It was actually a lot worse but I admire a man that cusses. Kidding, Kidding. He was very nice and accepted my apology...I think.

6. When Duo #1 left I was rocking out at the front desk. This involves putting together a children's puzzle with VR. He came with a whole crew (4 guys) and they each shook my hand, thanked me for what I do (whatever that is - serve sandwiches and smile?) and told me he'd see us next time around. I ask VR if she thought they planned their trips around our shift. She agrees that they do. We both dismissed the reality is that they have to be wherever they need to be first thing Monday morning. Whatever. It's us. We're funny.

5. My most favoritest thing at the USO is when a soldier is a little shy about ordering something. It's understandable. If they didn't pay attention at the front then they don't know it's all free. Shy soldier is kinda hanging back looking wary, he asks for chips. I waited until the crowd died down and went to see if I could get him a sandwich. I think his free pizza made his day and the look of relief on his face made mine.

4. The second duo that were bitter because I didn't ooh and ahh over them...ARE ORDERING PROFESSIONALS. At least the tall one was. He ordered with precision. I didn't have to ask a single question. I told him I was impressed. He said it was a lot of pressure because of all the questions. I heart him.

3. Cute baby boy (I think) sitting in his stroller eating pureed baby gunk. I wave, he spits out his food and waves back. I stick my fingers in my ears. VR says, oh you're going to get him in trouble. I shrug and do it again. Baby spits out food and sticks his fingers in his ears. He was my new BFF.

2. NSA gentleman ordered ice cream from SOMEONE OTHER THAN ME! I was devastated so he ordered another and my faux tears guilted the healthy marine into ordering as well.

1. When my shift was over I sat down next to a marine and ate my tomato soup. We're watching 60 minutes. It's about bull fighters. Dude with pink socks gets nailed (on tv).

Chellie: Clearly the bull was upset about the pink socks
Marine: Bulls can't see the color, it's the motion that draws their attention
Chellie: (nervous laughter) Just trying to make a joke
Marine: (stone faced) Oh, it was funny. Just wanted to clarify that for you.
Chellie: That kills the funny. You didn't laugh.
Marine: It was on the inside.

The man was a walking WIKI. When I commented he said his brain was full of 'worthless bullshit that would never be of any benefit'. So is mine, but it seemed like his info might be more useful than mine...I know things like Mark Wahlbergs birthday.


So there it is...a huge stretch, right? Sorry. It was busy. This marine also made me cry from laughing when he made comments during a Lavitra commercial. The conversation might have bordered on inappropriate but my best friend in college was a dude so it takes a lot...boys are funny.

Still saving the world, one color blind bull at a time...