How cute am I? All posing on the wing of that thing and barely looking like I was holding on tight...I'm the mo fo bomb!

Random Side Note: Marines did not have very, um, pretty? pin up girl posters back in the day. This is confusing as we all know Marines all have hot better half's and would stand to reason they would not particularly want to look at that not so hot stuff when decorating his worn torn tent back in the day. I'm just sayin', probably why my Daddy joined the Navy.

This week I was robbed by my agreeing to work a 'split shift' at the USO. By robbed I mean I didn't get to see any of the send off boys or the Chaplin. I do love our weekly chats. I would also like to mention that the boys and lady at checkpoint know me now...isn't it funny what a little conversation will do for a persons memory?

TSA: "Hey, didn't I tell you to take that necklace off last week?"
ME: "Um, it's not really a necklace and..."
TSA: "TAKE IT OFF!"

I kid, I kid. But something happens to your little heart when you walk through that thing and it starts beeping. It's like part fear of OH MY GOD THEY ARE GOING TO KILL ME (I know, drama) and then part "Hell, YEAH, I'm goin' to the x-ray booth!" KIDDING. KIDDING.

Really.

Seriously who knew a "DO THE CHICKEN DANCE!!!" button would set the alarm off?

Okay. Top TEN!

10. "Can you cover the front desk? I have to go get a bag from PAP. Here's my cell phone if you need me." Okay, seriously I was okay until that last part. What was she expecting to happen? Was some meanie on his way in and she was bailing on me? What if someone is at the front desk and the phone rings at the same time? Where's Miss J? She's way more qualified for front desk duty!!!

Note to self: Call Dr. Todd and ask for something. Anything.

9. We got a new cooler from lovely Pepsi for our cool, refreshing beverages. I skinned my knuckle trying to pull the cans from the top - which is not Pepsi's fault, God Bless them for helping us take care of our guests. It's me. If it's not one thing it's another.

8. "Hi! What's your name?" Says the sweetest little girl in the entire world sitting at a table with her Daddy. And isn't he the cutest thing in the world for traveling with his baby girl. Alone. Bless his heart.

7. Repeating yourself to a bewildered soldier at the front desk: $0
Laughing nervously because you both realize what an idiot you are: $0
Blurting out "I usually run the snack bar!": priceless

6. I've started telling the struggling tipsters *those who desperately try to cram dollars into the tiny little hole in our donation box* that we actually change the covers at the beginning of our shift for the pure entertainment value to try to ease their frustrations. Plus the entertainment part is truth - it is a rather silly little hole.

5. Hungry soldier walks in, walks around the snack bar, walks to the shiny, new Pepsi cooler, extracts a drink, starts digging around in the freezer. What do we do? Stare dumbly and laugh. Nervously, I might add cause deep down we are all wondering 'did we just break some law?'

4. Nervous Nelly Chellie had to answer the phone. Not once. Not twice. But THREE times. And I was yelled at by someone that wanted me to tell him when he should fly back to DFW and if I had his ticket to board the plane to wherever the plane takes returning R & R soldiers. He wanted me to tell him that because he refused to talk to the PAP office. I threw that phone at Miss L like it was a freakin on fire hot potato. Probably she might have a bruise.

Is it just me or does potato look like it's spelled wrong?

3. Miss D changed the station from ESPN to High School Musical tryout something or other which was followed my Extreme Home Makeover or whatever it's called. She explained she likes to change it when no one is looking. So when she went to the front desk I changed it to UFC Unleased and settled in with the crew and watched Kendell work his magic.

2. The thing I love most about our USO is that we have a guitar. I love this because there is always someone who picks it up and starts strumming away and I'm so jealous that I don't have the patience - or the pain tolerance - to learn to play. One day I might walk over and bust out some Faith Hill on their happy butts and start a band. There is no joke there, people.

1. "I wanna be an airborne ranger." Yes, I did to do that. You know who you are and you are loving that memory as much as me. Not sure who was more red - me, Faith Hill or the poor soul that had the nerve to sit at my bar with those patches like some sort of challenge. FACE!

So there it is...all in all it was a pretty quiet night for us lowly volunteers. Steady stream in and out with just the right balance to keep me entertained. And of course I was asked the most asked question but in a different way. "Are all of you volunteers?"

me: Yes.
S: Like, who volunteers?
me: Moms, retirees, patriotic citizens
S: Wives?
me: You know, I don't really know if we have any wives.
S: You're not one?

There you go. It's like word is getting around and the clever little devils are trying to trick me into not reporting my most asked question.

Until next week...saving the world, one Airborne Ranger at a time...